7 Comments

Oh, Vanessa! Be as big as you want. Be all of the big. We love you. What the hell, I love you, and Adaam, and UT. I can't believe I wasn't subscribed, I'm so reading the shit out of your entire archive right now.

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Mancuso.you're too sweet! Adaam and I are on a walk talking about how your comments are making our day. Thank you!

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Omg I'm totally bragging to my children about this.

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I totally hear you. To be a modern intellectual is exhausting, because of the constant pressure to be in a tribe, to take a side, and -let’s be honest - to be the smartest person in the room. Add in social media and the incentives are all crappy. You do you. And you’ll be a different person in different settings, on different topics, sometimes listening, sometimes speaking. That’s not gendered, that’s human. And if you’re seeking and speaking truth the best you can with whoever you’re speaking or listening to, you’re being authentically you. And that includes the right to change your mind later, no matter what label someone else wants to stick on it. Owning your uncertainty and intellectuals curiosity/honesty can be a super power when everyone around you is singing from the same hymnal.

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Thank you BK expat! Yeah it's been tricky for me to navigate - I generally value harmony over debate, and I guess I didn't realize the ways I was just going in lock-step with the "tribe" before. On the other hand, I also don't always challenge folks on the pod as forcefully as I may like. But you're right that this is just part of the (intellectual) human experience (and putting the gender expectations on myself just makes it harder) -- and a result of dwelling in uncertainty, as we try to do on the pod. Any way thank you for reading and replying - I appreciate it.

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I was listening to the Peter Turchin episode and you said "low and behold things were shit" in an English accent. I thought that was so funny. Who ever said there's a gendered dynamic is a fool!

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Hehe thank you! I hadn't considered that humor is another way I bring my personality to the pod. Any way, thank you for listening/reading/commenting. 🙏

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